FEELING. THANKS TO JANAI NORMAN THANKS TO JANAI NORMAN BACK TWENTY NINETEEN . BACK TWENTY NINETEEN . IN A VERY PERSONAL ESSAY FOR IN A VERY PERSONAL ESSAY FOR ESPN, HE MADE HISTORY AS THE ESPN, HE MADE HISTORY AS THE FIRST ACTIVE PLAYER IN THE NFL FIRST ACTIVE PLAYER IN THE NFL TO COME OUT AS BISEXUAL. TO COME OUT AS BISEXUAL. AND AS WE BEGIN OUR CELEBRATION AND AS WE BEGIN OUR CELEBRATION OF PRIDE MONTH, FORMER NFL OF PRIDE MONTH, FORMER NFL DEFENSIVE MARK RUSSELL IS WITH DEFENSIVE MARK RUSSELL IS WITH US TO DISCUSS HIS NEW BOOK, US TO DISCUSS HIS NEW BOOK, THE YARDS BETWEEN US AND MEMOIR THE YARDS BETWEEN US AND MEMOIR OF LIFE, LOVE AND FOOTBALL. OF LIFE, LOVE AND FOOTBALL. OUR THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING OUR THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. HERE. HOW ARE YOU DOING? HOW ARE YOU DOING? THANK YOU . THANK YOU . THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. DOING GREAT. DOING GREAT. IT'S BEEN FOUR SHORT YEARS IT'S BEEN FOUR SHORT YEARS SINCE THAT ESSAY ON ESPN. SINCE THAT ESSAY ON ESPN. >> I CAN ONLY IMAGINE >> I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE WHIRLWIND THAT FOLLOWED. THE WHIRLWIND THAT FOLLOWED. BUT NOW HERE WE ARE. BUT NOW HERE WE ARE. YOU'VE WRITTEN THIS BOOK. YOU'VE WRITTEN THIS BOOK. I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE SO PUBLICLY YOUR EXPERIENCE SO PUBLICLY AS AN AMBASSADOR FOR THE LGBTQ AS AN AMBASSADOR FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY. COMMUNITY. >> HOW YOU FEELING THESE DAYS? >> HOW YOU FEELING THESE DAYS? OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH. I FEEL GREAT. I FEEL GREAT. LIFE HAS BEEN WONDERFUL LIFE HAS BEEN WONDERFUL AND FULL TO ME. AND FULL TO ME. I THINK I'VE ALLOWED FOR I THINK I'VE ALLOWED FOR GENUINE LOVE AND CONNECTION GENUINE LOVE AND CONNECTION TO COME INTO MY LIFE WHEN TO COME INTO MY LIFE WHEN I CAME OUT AND WHEN I OPEN I CAME OUT AND WHEN I OPEN MYSELF UP TO THE WORLD IN THAT MYSELF UP TO THE WORLD IN THAT WAY. WAY. >> AND ALSO TO SEE SPORT GROW >> AND ALSO TO SEE SPORT GROW AND TRANSFORM SPECIFICALLY MALE AND TRANSFORM SPECIFICALLY MALE SPORTS IN THE NFL HAS BEEN SPORTS IN THE NFL HAS BEEN A HUGE PART OF MY MISSION, A HUGE PART OF MY MISSION, AND MY GOAL IS SOMETHING AND MY GOAL IS SOMETHING I CONTINUE TO CHAMPION, I CONTINUE TO CHAMPION, SOMETHING THAT WE'VE MADE SOMETHING THAT WE'VE MADE PROGRESS ON . PROGRESS ON . SO, YOU KNOW, LIFE IS GREAT. SO, YOU KNOW, LIFE IS GREAT. YOU WERE IN YOUR LATE 20S WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR LATE 20S WHEN YOU WROTE THAT ESSAY, BUT YOU WROTE THAT ESSAY, BUT OBVIOUSLY THIS WAS SOMETHING OBVIOUSLY THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU HAD BEEN WRESTLING YOU HAD BEEN WRESTLING WITH INTERNALLY FOR QUITE WITH INTERNALLY FOR QUITE A WHILE. A WHILE. YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU ONLY YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU ONLY KNEW ONE OPENLY GAY STUDENT AT KNEW ONE OPENLY GAY STUDENT AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL IN THE VIEW YOUR HIGH SCHOOL IN THE VIEW YOU WOULD CATCH HIM JUST YOU WOULD CATCH HIM JUST STANDING THERE, STARING OFF STANDING THERE, STARING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE, TRYING INTO THE DISTANCE, TRYING TO BREATHE, HIDING IN PLAIN TO BREATHE, HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT. SIGHT. WHAT WAS THE PROCESS LIKE FOR WHAT WAS THE PROCESS LIKE FOR YOU GOING THROUGH YOUR PAST YOU GOING THROUGH YOUR PAST AND WHAT WERE PROBABLY A LOT OF AND WHAT WERE PROBABLY A LOT OF PAINFUL EXPERIENCES KNOWING PAINFUL EXPERIENCES KNOWING WHERE YOU ENDED TODAY? WHERE YOU ENDED TODAY? >> YEAH, IT WAS DEFINITELY >> YEAH, IT WAS DEFINITELY ONE THAT I WOULD CONSIDER TO BE ONE THAT I WOULD CONSIDER TO BE THERAPEUTIC, TO SEE YOUR LIFE THERAPEUTIC, TO SEE YOUR LIFE AND FALL, TO ANALYZE THOSE AND FALL, TO ANALYZE THOSE MOMENTS, THE LESSONS THAT MOMENTS, THE LESSONS THAT THEY TAUGHT YOU , THE HARDSHIPS THEY TAUGHT YOU , THE HARDSHIPS NOT ONLY WENT THROUGH, BUT NOT ONLY WENT THROUGH, BUT OVERCAME AND TO SEE ALSO OVERCAME AND TO SEE ALSO THE BIGGER PICTURE, HOW THINGS THE BIGGER PICTURE, HOW THINGS THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE A YOUNG BOY INFLUENCED A YOUNG BOY INFLUENCED THE YOUNG MAN THAT YOU ARE. THE YOUNG MAN THAT YOU ARE. AND IT HELPS YOU INFORM YOU OF AND IT HELPS YOU INFORM YOU OF HOW TO MOVE FORWARD, WHAT HOW TO MOVE FORWARD, WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR OWN FUTURE YOU WANT FOR YOUR OWN FUTURE AND THOSE AROUND YOU . AND THOSE AROUND YOU . BUT THE PROCESS, THOUGH BUT THE PROCESS, THOUGH CHALLENGING, IS ONE THAT CHALLENGING, IS ONE THAT IS MOTIVATING AND INSPIRING FOR IS MOTIVATING AND INSPIRING FOR ME PERSONALLY, BECAUSE ME PERSONALLY, BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT I'VE WRITTEN EVERYTHING THAT I'VE WRITTEN ABOUT, I KNEW THAT I HAD GONE ABOUT, I KNEW THAT I HAD GONE THROUGH AND I HAD OVERCOME. THROUGH AND I HAD OVERCOME. SO I WANTED TO ALSO SHARE THAT SO I WANTED TO ALSO SHARE THAT MESSAGE WITH EVERY YOUNG MESSAGE WITH EVERY YOUNG READER, EVERY SPORTS FAN, EVERY READER, EVERY SPORTS FAN, EVERY LGBTQ+ PERSON. LGBTQ+ PERSON. AND I HOPE TO DO THAT THROUGH AND I HOPE TO DO THAT THROUGH THAT BOOK. THAT BOOK. WHAT WAS THE REACTION FROM WHAT WAS THE REACTION FROM YOUR FELLOW ATHLETES IN YOUR FELLOW ATHLETES IN THE SPORTS COMMUNITY AFTER THE SPORTS COMMUNITY AFTER YOU CAME? YOU CAME? >> IT WAS A GREAT CELEBRATION. >> IT WAS A GREAT CELEBRATION. ANYONE THAT KNEW ME PERSONALLY ANYONE THAT KNEW ME PERSONALLY KNEW THE HARDSHIPS THAT I HAD KNEW THE HARDSHIPS THAT I HAD GONE THROUGH AS A HUMAN BEING, GONE THROUGH AS A HUMAN BEING, AS A BLACK MAN IN AMERICA, AS A AS A BLACK MAN IN AMERICA, AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER, AND TO KNOW FOOTBALL PLAYER, AND TO KNOW THAT I ALSO CARRIED THE BURDEN THAT I ALSO CARRIED THE BURDEN OF THE SECRET WITH ME OR OF THE SECRET WITH ME OR THE SHAME, THE STIGMA, THE SHAME, THE STIGMA, THE STEREOTYPE, THE HOMOPHOBIA THE STEREOTYPE, THE HOMOPHOBIA THAT I HAD GONE THROUGH ALL THAT I HAD GONE THROUGH ALL THAT AS WELL, GRANT. THAT AS WELL, GRANT. AND NOTHING BUT RESPECT FROM AND NOTHING BUT RESPECT FROM EVERYONE THAT KNEW ME, PLAYERS, EVERYONE THAT KNEW ME, PLAYERS, COACHES, MENTORS, PEERS IN COACHES, MENTORS, PEERS IN GENERAL. GENERAL. SO IT WAS DEFINITELY SO IT WAS DEFINITELY A CELEBRATION FOR ME. A CELEBRATION FOR ME. AND SOMETHING I WANT ALL LGBTQ+ AND SOMETHING I WANT ALL LGBTQ+ PEOPLE TO FEEL SOMETHING. PEOPLE TO FEEL SOMETHING. I WANT ALL ATHLETES BOTH I WANT ALL ATHLETES BOTH CLOSETED AND OUT TO FEEL. CLOSETED AND OUT TO FEEL. AND IT WAS A MOMENT THAT I ONLY AND IT WAS A MOMENT THAT I ONLY LOOK BACK WITH WITH THE LOOK BACK WITH WITH THE GREATEST OF FEELINGS ABOUT. GREATEST OF FEELINGS ABOUT. >> BUT I IN THAT SAME VEIN, >> BUT I IN THAT SAME VEIN, I WOULD IMAGINE THAT THIS BOOK I WOULD IMAGINE THAT THIS BOOK YOU ALSO WANT TO EXTEND YOU ALSO WANT TO EXTEND TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY TO ALSO THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY TO ALSO SHARE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE. SHARE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE. OF COURSE, I THINK BOOKS ARE OF COURSE, I THINK BOOKS ARE A GREAT WAY TO SEE HUMANS FOR A GREAT WAY TO SEE HUMANS FOR JUST WHO THEY ARE, JUST JUST WHO THEY ARE, JUST AS HUMANS AND TO CREATE AS HUMANS AND TO CREATE EMPATHY. EMPATHY. I THINK EMPATHY IS THE BIGGEST I THINK EMPATHY IS THE BIGGEST THING THAT EACH OF US CAN WORK THING THAT EACH OF US CAN WORK ON , THAT WE CAN CONTINUE ON , THAT WE CAN CONTINUE TO GROW. TO GROW. AND THAT HELPS TO BE ALLIES, AND THAT HELPS TO BE ALLIES, HELPS US BE BROTHERS, HELPS US BE BROTHERS, TEAMMATES, FRIENDS AND IT HELPS TEAMMATES, FRIENDS AND IT HELPS US GET THROUGH THIS LIFE, US GET THROUGH THIS LIFE, BECAUSE I THINK WITH ALMOST BECAUSE I THINK WITH ALMOST EIGHT BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS EIGHT BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS WORLD , WE'RE NOT MEANT TO GO WORLD , WE'RE NOT MEANT TO GO THROUGH LIFE FEELING ALONE OR THROUGH LIFE FEELING ALONE OR ISOLATED OR NOT INCLUDED. ISOLATED OR NOT INCLUDED. SO I THINK THIS BOOK, YES, IT'S SO I THINK THIS BOOK, YES, IT'S A GREAT MESSAGE FOR THOSE A GREAT MESSAGE FOR THOSE WHO ARE LGBTQ+ PEOPLE IN SPORT WHO ARE LGBTQ+ PEOPLE IN SPORT OUTSIDE OF SPORT. OUTSIDE OF SPORT. BUT IT'S ALSO TO EXTEND A HAND BUT IT'S ALSO TO EXTEND A HAND TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT LIKE ME TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT LIKE ME TO ALLOW YOU TO READ ABOUT TO ALLOW YOU TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE'S JOURNEY AND TO SEE SOMEONE'S JOURNEY AND TO SEE THEM AS JUST BEING A HUMAN THEM AS JUST BEING A HUMAN BEING. BEING. >> DID I READ CORRECTLY THAT >> DID I READ CORRECTLY THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY IT'S NOT JUST YOU'RE ACTUALLY IT'S NOT JUST A BOOK YOU'RE TEAMING UP A BOOK YOU'RE TEAMING UP WITH SONY PICTURES. WITH SONY PICTURES. >> YOU'RE GOING TO TURN >> YOU'RE GOING TO TURN THE YARDS BETWEEN US NOT JUST THE YARDS BETWEEN US NOT JUST INTO A SERIES, BUT A COMEDY INTO A SERIES, BUT A COMEDY SERIES. SERIES. >> YES, THE YARDS BETWEEN US IS >> YES, THE YARDS BETWEEN US IS GOING TO BE A COMEDY SERIES. GOING TO BE A COMEDY SERIES. GABRIELLE UNION HAS BEEN GABRIELLE UNION HAS BEEN A COLLABORATION. A COLLABORATION. THIS YOU'LL BE CALLED EXECUTIVE THIS YOU'LL BE CALLED EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. PRODUCER. AND SHE REALLY WAS WHEN IT AND SHE REALLY WAS WHEN IT BROUGHT THE IDEA OF COMEDY BROUGHT THE IDEA OF COMEDY TO ME TO ARM PEOPLE WITH A TO ME TO ARM PEOPLE WITH A LAUGH TO TO HAVE PEOPLE SIT LAUGH TO TO HAVE PEOPLE SIT TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT TOPICS TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT TOPICS THAT SEEM TO BE HARD TOPICS, THAT SEEM TO BE HARD TOPICS, BUT TALK ABOUT THEM WITH A BUT TALK ABOUT THEM WITH A GRAIN OF SALT AND WITH JOY AND GRAIN OF SALT AND WITH JOY AND HUMOR. HUMOR. AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL DISARM AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL DISARM PEOPLE SO WE CAN HAVE PEOPLE SO WE CAN HAVE THE CONVERSATION OF WHAT IT THE CONVERSATION OF WHAT IT IS TO JUST BE A HUMAN BEING. IS TO JUST BE A HUMAN BEING. >> I KNOW THAT SHE'S ELEMENTARY >> I KNOW THAT SHE'S ELEMENTARY OF YOUR BOOK AS WELL. OF YOUR BOOK AS WELL. I'M CURIOUS, YOU KNOW, AS WE'RE I'M CURIOUS, YOU KNOW, AS WE'RE ENTERING PRIDE MONTH HERE, ARE ENTERING PRIDE MONTH HERE, ARE IT WE AS A SOCIETY TEND TO PUT IT WE AS A SOCIETY TEND TO PUT PEOPLE INTO BOXES BASED PEOPLE INTO BOXES BASED ON WHATEVER BOXES THEY MAY ON WHATEVER BOXES THEY MAY CHECK IN TERMS OF GENDER , IN CHECK IN TERMS OF GENDER , IN TERMS OF RACE AND THINGS LIKE TERMS OF RACE AND THINGS LIKE THAT. THAT. >> HOW DO YOU VIEW YOURSELF IN >> HOW DO YOU VIEW YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN IDENTITY? YOUR OWN IDENTITY? >> I AM A BLACK BISEXUAL MAN. >> I AM A BLACK BISEXUAL MAN. THAT'S WHAT I AM. THAT'S WHAT I AM. THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN, THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN, REGARDLESS OF THE TIMES THAT REGARDLESS OF THE TIMES THAT IT'S TAKEN ME TO REALIZE THAT IT'S TAKEN ME TO REALIZE THAT THE INTERSECTIONS THAT I EMBODY THE INTERSECTIONS THAT I EMBODY ,THE COMMUNITIES THAT ,THE COMMUNITIES THAT WELCOME ME AND THAT I FEEL WELCOME ME AND THAT I FEEL INVITED TO BE AT THE END OF INVITED TO BE AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE ONLY BOX, THE ONLY THE DAY, THE ONLY BOX, THE ONLY LABEL THAT REALLY MATTERS FOR LABEL THAT REALLY MATTERS FOR ALL OF US IS THAT OF BEING ALL OF US IS THAT OF BEING HUMAN. HUMAN. I FIGHT FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY I FIGHT FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY BECAUSE OF THE DISPARITY. BECAUSE OF THE DISPARITY. I FIGHT FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY I FIGHT FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY BECAUSE OF RACISM AND THINGS BECAUSE OF RACISM AND THINGS LIKE THAT. LIKE THAT. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE'RE ALL HUMAN. WE'RE ALL HUMAN. THE FIGHT FOR EQUALITY AND LOVE THE FIGHT FOR EQUALITY AND LOVE IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD ALL IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD ALL CHAMPION FOR ALL COMMUNITIES CHAMPION FOR ALL COMMUNITIES AND ALL PEOPLE. AND ALL PEOPLE. >> DO YOU THINK THAT A YOUNGER >> DO YOU THINK THAT A YOUNGER YOU WOULD EVER IMAGINE YOU'D YOU WOULD EVER IMAGINE YOU'D BE DOING INTERVIEWS PROUDLY BE DOING INTERVIEWS PROUDLY SAYING YOU'RE A BLACK BISEXUAL SAYING YOU'RE A BLACK BISEXUAL ? ? >> NO, NOT AT ALL. >> NO, NOT AT ALL. A YOUNGER ME WAS JUST TRYING A YOUNGER ME WAS JUST TRYING TO LIVE LIFE, FIND JOY . TO LIVE LIFE, FIND JOY . AND I THINK THAT MY MISSION, AND I THINK THAT MY MISSION, THE BOOK, THE HOURS BETWEEN THE BOOK, THE HOURS BETWEEN US , EVERYTHING THAT I DO IS TO US , EVERYTHING THAT I DO IS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUNG PEOPLE CAN MAKE SURE THAT YOUNG PEOPLE CAN DO THAT REGARDLESS OF DO THAT REGARDLESS OF THE BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITIES THAT THE BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITIES THAT THEY EMBODY IN THE LABELS THAT THEY EMBODY IN THE LABELS THAT THEY CARRY OR THEY ARE PLACED THEY CARRY OR THEY ARE PLACED ON THEM. ON THEM. WELL, IT'S BEE